Remember the days when your ass was just used for crapping and farting?

He's a Scottish cabbie who moonlights as Rambo's sidekick.

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

Jesus hated your baseball team and by rooting for them you offended his holiness. Plus he was betting on the other guys.

There are no words to describe this beauty. It's like looking into the sun and hearing the words, "My dad never took me fishing when I was a boy, this will teach him".

That thing could suck you up and you would never be seen again. Now you know what Rosie's adopted kids feel like.

Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. If you would take a moment to look out the window to your left, the plane will tip over, thank you.

Known as the Highway of Death, this stretch of land in Iraq is a reminder of the wonders of war in such a civilized time.

Can you imagine peeing while looking out one of these windows? The good news is you would have a solid excuse for pissing all over everything.

Sexual thoughts aside… what's with the blue outfit? There isn't much sexy about screwing a zip lock bag.

What are the chances that a football player would come barreling down the sidelines? Actually pretty good, but the odds of another cameraman catching your "oh crap" face… that’s just gold.

"Don't you like how your skin looks like a fleshy condom over my hard horn, baby? Yeaah, this is Pamplona, baby, don't I make you horny?"

This unfortunate chap got gored in the arse during the running of the bulls in Pamplona. And you thought he just had too much Ass-Kicking Hot Sauce!

When gimps attack, even the long arm of the law can't save you!!

...When skank clothes just don't say enough...

Now that's what I call finger food! HA!!

Oh, the beautiful gayness that is wrestling!

Disneyland revenge is sweet.

This photo was taken by the best photographer ever!

Daddy tried the Apple-On-The-Head trick. It didn't work out.