The lies Paris Hilton told Larry King. From the Tonight Show.

Chuck used to have a cartoon in the '80s called Karate Kommandos. It was basically the A-Team but lame.

Beyonce's performance at the BET awards was completely unmemorable, save for the fact that she DRESSED AND ACTED LIKE A FREAKIN' GOLDEN ROBOT! Why, bootylicious lady, WHY??

Dear lord Michelle Marsh is running topless down the beach. If it were nearly any other woman on the planet, save Star Jones, it would be hot. But those "fun"-bags are like sacks of wet meat your step-dad is about to slug you with.

Now that she's been released from prison, Paris is on her way to annoy the hell out of he neighbors in the Hollywood Hills.

Looks like OJ admitted to the murders a long time ago!

Perez has all the gossip and celebrity vagina photos you could desire! Watch his adventures!

Someone got into a decidedly unfunny fender-bender with Ellen, on Sunset across from the Laugh Factory. Celebrities – they're just like us!

Apparently Tyra Banks thinks that grown women don't know how to urinate in public toilets, so she does a community service and shows up how!

Some jerk "fan" pushed Robbie Williams off the stage at a concert. At least we know Robbie doesn't lip-sync!

Conan sends Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to the Tonys, where he avoids all jokes about gays and how lame plays are. Just kidding, he's friggin hilarious.

The paparazzi were surrounding Britney's car when she made the mistake of climbing into the back seat and flashing her panties. Their reactions are priceless.

Always take T's advice -- especially when it's on designer clothing!

"Stars Are Blind" remade by a sexy fake-Paris into an "autobiographical" story about going to jail. She gets cozy with the sheriff! Oh yeah!

Paris gets owned in a really Disco way! Warning: may cause seizures!

When the judge's decision to send Paris back to prison is read, an unseen man cries out in obvious agony. Will celebrity justice never be served??

The Ben Stiller Show easily predicted the extreme direction the over-the-top comedically action-packed "Die Hard" series might take if left to keep sequel-ing itself. Here's an oldie but a goodie.

Sarah Silverman gave the Hilton heiress a good grilling last night at the MTV Movie Awards... Paris was hardly spared, and her face totally shows it! God, I want to hump you, Sarah!

At an awards show, Paulina Rubio decided to flash her thong-clad booty to the crowd, for some reason. Uhhhhh, make that for a VERY GOOD reason.

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??